The Many Faces of Shibusen
by Writer of Whispers
Summary: A collection of one-shots featuring the many characters of Soul Eater. Focuses on friendship but includes some pairings. Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater or any affiliated rights/companies/etc.
1. Kalimari: Harvar

**Welcome! My goal with this story is to explore, as the title suggests, the many faces of Shibusen, and I have plans to write one-shots on at least 26 characters. Yes, that translates into 26 chapters worth of one-shots. Additionally, each one-shot should more or less fit the quote at the beginning of each chapter. I personally chose each quote to fit the personality of each character.**

**I chose to begin with the toughest character first: Harvar D. Eclair, Mr. Stoic-and-Antisocial. I found this character incredibly hard to write (even after rereading half the manga searching for behavioral clues), so I don't think the first chapter came out so well. Also, I didn't intend for this to be a HarvarxJacqueline pairing, but I think these two stubborn weapons could become thick friends. At least, if Jacqueline ever forgives Harvar for electrocuting her in the Baba Yaga arc...  
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**Well, I hope this one makes you chuckle if nothing else. =)  
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"_I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions…."_

_~ Lillian Hellman, __Letter to House Un-American Activities Committee__, May 19, 1952_

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_Harvar leaned back against the wooden back of the booth seat. Really, the diner should invest in new furniture and not waste its money on advertising. He'd be far more willing to eat here if he just had a cushion or two.

Then again, the chili fries that the team (consisting of Ox, Kim, Jacqueline, Kilik, the twins, and himself) was currently sharing looked as if someone had soaked the poor potatoes in grease and thrown ground-up cat liver on top. Not the most appetizing dish he had ever seen.

Jacqueline's voice startled him out of his unpleasant thoughts. She put her hands to her mouth in a theatrical imitation of a megaphone. "Earth to Harvar! Anyone home in there?" Harvar grunted, and his fellow weapon grinned at him. "What, chili fries not your thing? You've hardly eaten anything."

"Leave 'im alone, Jackie," Kilik advised as he used a napkin to wipe the grease off Fire's face. "Just wait 'til the kalimari comes. You'd be surprised how many of those things this boy can shovel in."

"You mean, kalimari as in squid? Ew." Jacqueline stuck her tongue out as she leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand, which in turn rested on the top of her Diet Coke.

Beside the disgusted weapon, Kim wagged a finger in the cutesiest manner she could, "Harvar, you should try the sushi bar they just opened across town. I heard it's pretty good, and the prices aren't too bad either." Harvar knew better than to ask why Kim would know the prices at a restaurant she had never been to. If Kim ever went on The Price is Right, he doubted the money-minded meister would even have to guess the prices. She'd probably know not only the price of every prize, but all the patent information to boot.

Ox, who had been stuffing his face with chili fries, suddenly perked up. "Well, why don't we all try it out this Friday?" he suggested, and Harvar could practically see how Ox's mind was working: him + Kim + restaurant = date?

"Sorry, Jackie and I have a mission." Kim smiled as Ox's face drained of all expression, the usual reaction to a rejected, erm, date?

"Hey, I have a serious question," Jacqueline suddenly asked. "We all know that Ox is just plain weird about his hair." Ox regained composure so that he could turn a wrathful gaze at Jacqueline, but she ignored him as usual. "But you're so sane, Harvar, that I just can't figure out why you'd wear that dumb visor in public."

Harvar shrugged. This wasn't the first time Jacqueline had dissed the visor. It wasn't his fault she couldn't see how amazingly awesome it was.

"Jackie, this is a symbol of our manhood!" Ox proclaimed, wrapping an arm around his irritated weapon. "Harvar's visor— and my hair— are more than mere fashion statements! They stand for our individuality! By setting ourselves apart, we announce to the world that we are not afraid to stand up for ourselves… or anything we love!" At the end, Ox snuck a glance at Kim to see if she caught his "clever" innuendo, only to be crushed when the girl showed no interest in the speech.

In all actuality, Harvar agreed with his meister. In fact, it had been this attitude that had brought the pair together, several years earlier during Shibusen's Partnership Ceremony. Ox had not been afraid to stand up for himself, no matter how the other meisters teased him for his hair, and had walked up to Harvar with a confidence that Harvar had not seen all day and had rarely seen since.

Nevertheless, Harvar wore his visor for a far different reason. Ox accepted the teasing and occasionally bullying as a sort of "side effect," something that happened but that Ox did not openly invite. Harvar, on the other hand, wore his visor knowing full well that others would question not only his fashion sense (was a guy allowed to have a fashion sense? Eh, he didn't care) but also his instinct for self-preservation. Harvar practically asked to be bullied.

At least, then a little attention would be pulled away from Ox. After all, Harvar's first priority was to keep his meister happy and safe.

… and, when Harvar became a Death Scythe, he'd definitely bring the visor "back."

Harvar didn't realize that he had spaced out until the waitress brought out the main courses. Jacqueline was sidetracked from his eyewear and focused instead on the plate in front of him. She wrinkled her nose. "They look like onion rings," she said.

"Haven't you ever tried kalimari, Jacqueline?" Kilik asked.

"Of course not," she retorted, obviously repelled by the idea. She grabbed her knife and fork and looked down at her own meal, which consisted of a more standard chicken pie.

Harvar came up with a fun idea right then, and he couldn't resist putting it into action. Before Jacqueline could take a bite of her own food, Harvar shoved one of his "onion rings" into her open mouth. Jacqueline jerked backward in surprise.

This made the entire evening— uncomfortable seating, gross food, and annoying conversations all—completely worth it. Harvar could barely hide his satisfaction as Jacqueline slowly turned several shades of red as she tried to swallow the chewy ring of squid. Harvar knew by experience that a kalimari ring was almost impossible to swallow quickly, so Jacqueline was forced to truly _try_ it.

For a full minute, no one in the booth so much as made a sound except for Fire and Thunder, both of whom began to giggle at the sight of Jacqueline's face.

Finally, the dark-haired weapon managed to swallow the kalimari, and she glared up at Harvar. "You jerk!"

"So? What'd you think?" he asked.

Jacqueline looked back at her plate before reluctantly admitting, "It was alright."

"See? It's not so bad to open your mind once in a while," Harvar teased, smirking as he ate one of the kalimari himself.

"Psh. Whatever," the embarrassed weapon said, turning away.

Kim suddenly gasped, glaring toward the diner's counter. "Did you guys see that? That guy totally just smirked at me!"

"What?!" Ox demanded, standing up and almost knocking over the table in his outrage.

"Whoa, calm down there," Kilik said, hurrying to save the drinks.

Just like that, Kim had drawn all attention away from her weapon, and Harvar's moment of enjoyment was over.

Well, at least Jacqueline left him alone for the rest of the night.


	2. Picturebook: Spirit

**You know that you don't have a life when you say that you'll update slower, only to write faster than before. What the heck?**

**This chapter's victim is Spirit Albarn, Mr. Death Scythe himself. This character needs some love. He may have more vices than some prekishins, but darn it, he really does try to help his kid (and there are a lot of people out there that can't say that). This chapter's on the shorter side (I didn't want to describe Kami since she hasn't shown up in the manga), but the idea's cute, no?  
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**Thank you to all my readers and reviewers. Next chapter: Death the Kidd!**

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"_A man's action is only a picture book of his creed."~ Arthur Helps_

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_Shinigami's Death Scythe had a secret. Except it wasn't so much a secret, as a little-known fact. If anyone would have asked him if he enjoyed reading, he would have said yes. Yet only a handful of souls would ever catch him in the act, and even fewer knew how much Spirit Albarn truly did love literature.

Oh, the women at the cabaret would tease him when he quoted Shakespeare (and he did, quite frequently). Marie had once offered to help clean up Spirit's apartment, and when she found Spirit's personal collection by accident, he mentioned that his wife had bought most of the books (though he did not mention that she had bought the books as gifts).Even Stein would occassionally spot his former partner in the library, although the professor usually wrote this off as the weapon avoiding more serious work or, possibly, trying to sneak in a conversation with his equally literature-obsessed daughter.

Imagine if Stein had cared enough to check over Spirit's shoulder as he thumbed through one of those old books. Perhaps he would have seen a smaller, infinitely thinner book tucked inside the spine.

Now imagine Stein's surprise when the professor realized that the book was not a comic book or a naughty magazine, but, in fact, a perfectly innocent picture book with watercolor pictures of lambs and baby rabbits.

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"Kami! Have you seen my copy of _Dracula_?"

A female voice from the kitchen yelled, "Are you reading that _again_? You know, I'm starting to be a bit afraid for my neck." After the sound of clinking pots, the voice continued, "No, I haven't seen it!"

"Great," Spirit muttered, checking under the sofa. He had been sure that he had put it back on the shelf…

"Papa?" Spirit looked up suddenly to see his three-year-old daughter crouched down beside him. Her mother had dressed Maka in a frilly white shirt and pink overalls with matching ribbons in her pigtails. For a moment, Spirit was simply overcome with the supreme cuteness of his little girl, and he scooped her up into a hug. What had he done to deserve such a little angel?

Maka giggled at the random hug, but then she said seriously, "Papa, I need help."

"Help? With what?" Spirit asked with a grin.

Maka began squirm out of his arms, and he gently let her down onto the carpet. With a determined glower, the girl marched toward her bedroom, and Spirit followed with an amused smirk. Then Maka pointed to a book laying half-way open on her bedroom floor.

Spirit raised an eyebrow questioningly as he stooped to pick the book up, and then he read the spine: Bram Stoker's _Dracula_.

Several thoughts sped through Spirit's mind. _Holy crow, Maka can read?! How—when—who taught her?! Wait, she's reading _this_ book?! She'll be corrupted!_

Of course, not one of these thoughts was necessary. "Papa," Maka said in her sweetest voice, "I think someone took out all the pictures. I can't find any in that book."

Spirit immediately calmed down. "Oh, no. There aren't any pictures in this kind of book."

"Oh…" Maka looked down, disappointed.

"Why did you want to read this book, Maka?" Spirit asked.

"Well, _you_ like reading it, so I wanted to read it, too."

"Awww~!" Spirit squished three-year-old Maka into another hug.

"Papa… can't… breathe!"

Only slightly loosening his grip on his little girl, Spirit told her, "Well, Maka's too little to read this book right now, but I'll make it up to you by reading you lots of picture books tonight, okay?"

Maka thought about this for a minute before saying, "Okay!"

Kami's voice suddenly interrupted them. "Dinner's ready! Oh, did you find your book?" Spirit nodded, holding up the offending book as Maka scampered out of his arms and clutched the hem of Kami's apron.

"Mama, Papa's gonna read me lots of books tonight!" She turned back to smile at her father. "The one with the fat cat, and the one with the bunnies, too!" Spirit nodded.

"Good to hear. Now go wash up, okay?" Maka nodded and skipped toward the bathroom. Only then did Kami shake her finger at her husband, half-mocking and half-serious. "You better not let her down, Papa."

"Do I ever miss story time?" he asked. Kami smiled as she returned to the kitchen. For as many times as Spirit went missing (driving Kami half-crazy sometimes), he _never_ missed story time. Not once.


	3. Brains: Kidd

**Thank you, as always, to my readers and reviewers. A big shout-out to RavenAK, whose review put a smile on my face this morning and prompted me to finish this devil of a chapter. =)**

**Death the Kidd turned out to be more of a challenge than I thought he would be. I kept wanting to make his story too long, then it turned out to be more about Liz than Kidd, and then I scrapped the whole thing and wrote this instead. This story takes place shortly after he met the Thompson sisters. It struck me that Kidd would have forced the sisters to visit a doctor, especially after seeing how they lived on the street, and then I wondered how Patty would react to her first shot… Well, this is how it turned out.**

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**"_But I'm not particularly comfortable around guns." ~ Ryan Phillippe_

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"There! Perfect!"

Kidd paused in his labors to admire his handiwork. Pocketing his measuring tape, Kidd admired the now-level picture frame that had been hanging crookedly on the wall opposite the reception desk. The reception desk had been perfectly organized as well, down to the arrangement of the eight blue pens in their perfectly square holder. In fact, the entire waiting room had been rearranged to suit his aesthetic ideal; the chairs, the paintings, even the magazines had been reorganized _symmetrically_. Order had been restored to the universe… or at least to the waiting room of the Death City Medical Center.

Kidd paused to glance at the swinging double doors through which his weapons had disappeared one hour prior. He hoped they were alright. It had been only two weeks since he brought the two demon guns home with him from Brooklyn, and though he could _see_ nothing wrong with them (besides their asymmetry in human form), he worried about their health. Shinigami knew when they had last received any sort of medicine, let alone vaccinations. He didn't even want to think about what they had been eating or where they had been sleeping, or what Liz had been shooting into her veins in her efforts to survive the streets….

Kidd shuddered. Drugs did not affect him, of course, at least not for any length of time. His body cleansed them too quickly. Liz, however, did not have the body of a shinigami, and Kidd wondered about the effects the drugs had taken on her body.

That morning, Liz had been quite put out at the mention of an appointment. She had glared at Kidd over the breakfast table and demanded, "A physical exam? What for? Is this because we're your weapons now?"

Kidd had barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He knew what Liz meant; ever since she had agreed to accompany him back to Death City, Liz had resisted the idea of being his partner, no matter how much Patty already accepted him. Partly, Liz had trouble relying on him after living independently for so long, but partly, he thought, she had self-esteem issues. She did not understand why he had chosen her as one of his weapons. _As if it were complicated_, Kidd had thought.

"Of course it's because you're my weapons. If you two get sick, it'll be my fault for not taking better care of you. Now will you pass me the knife? I think this pancake is lopsided."

_I hope they're doing alright in there_, Kidd thought as he returned to dusting one of the cheap brass doorknobs. _Liz is so stubborn, I don't know how I'll get her back here again if something goes wrong._

Fate seemed to be against him, however, because at that moment, Kidd heard a scream.

Kidd recognized the cry immediately, no matter how new a sound it was to him. Ignoring the outraged voice of the receptionist, Kidd jumped right over the reception counter and raced down the narrow hallway toward the source of the noise. Luckily, no one paused to stop him as he ran toward the room at the end of the hall, and he soon came to a screeching halt in front of the open door. "Patty?! Are you okay?"

"Waah~! It huuurts!"

Patty leaped down from the stool she had been sitting on, ignoring the paper gown she had changed into. She almost bowled Kidd over as she hugged him around the neck. Big, sloppy tears streamed down her face as she bawled against his shoulder, and poor Kidd was too stunned to do more than awkwardly place his hands on her sides.

The doctor, an unfortunate soul wearing a lab coat and round glasses, tossed a disposable needle into the garbage can. He raised an eyebrow as he stared at Patty squeezing all of the air out of Kidd. "Sir, I don't think you're allowed back he—"

"What the hell did you do?!" Suddenly, Liz burst into the room, wearing a similar paper gown and an expression that could have frightened a full-fledged kishin. Liz took one look at her teary-eyed sister, and within seconds, she had the doctor pinned against the wall, lifting him half a foot above the ground by his collar. "Answer me!"

For a moment, the room was silent except for Patty's sniffles and the sound of the doctor's shoes knocking against the wall as the man tried to find footing. It was so quiet that when Kidd sighed heavily, even the frightened doctor turned his head.

"Put him down, Liz," Kidd said, smiling slightly. It amused him that a couple weeks ago, it had been him that Liz had pinned against the wall. At least she hadn't threatened the poor man with a gun lodged against his throat.

Liz obeyed, but she crossed her arms to glower at her meister. "What happened?"

"Onee-chan, h-he—he stabbed me!" Patty cried, never once loosening her grip from Kidd's neck.

"I believe he gave her a shot, is all," Kidd explained.

Liz visibly relaxed. "Oh, is that all?" Her frown melted into a gentle smile as she walked over and placed a hand on the top of Patty's head. "Be a big girl now, okay? I got two shots, and you don't see me crying."

Patty sniffed again as she leaned back, facing her sister. "O-okay…" Then she gave up her hold on Kidd completely, hugging her sister instead and burying her face in Liz's arm. Liz hugged her back much more warmly than Kidd had.

Said Kidd chose then to clear his throat. "Liz… I thought we had an agreement."

"Hm?" Liz cocked an eyebrow as she looked at him. "What's that?"

Kidd looked down pointedly. "I thought I told you to buy only _symmetrical_ clothing."

"What are you—" Suddenly Liz's face turned red as she realized she was still wearing the paper gown, which barely hid her polka-dotted underwear. "Where are you looking, you pervert! Patty, transform!"

"Fine." Patty morphed into a gun, which Liz caught expertly and pointed at Kidd's face.

The young shinigami raised his hands in surrender as he stared down the steel-lined barrel. "Wait, let's talk about this…."

"Talk about what? Your perverted tendencies?"

Kidd laughed nervously. "Now, come on. This is symmetry we're talking about."

Liz's left eyebrow rose halfway to her hairline. _Her facial expressions need some work, too_, Kidd thought as he noted the imbalance.

"You know, Kidd, I think we ought to see if your _brains_ are symmetrical."

For a moment, Kidd wondered if he would ever feel comfortable around guns.

Then a more important thought struck him, and Kidd clutched Liz's hands as he began to sob broken-heartedly. "You're right! We have to check! Hurry and change, we have to see if they have the MRI open…"


	4. Friends: Angela

**This chapter, we meet Angela Leon. She was a fun character to write. I played around with tone in this piece, trying to stick to Angela's childish, informal way of speaking. It's a little bittersweet since Angela still doesn't know what happened to Mifune, but at least she's making friends, right?**

**Speaking of nice people, thank you for the reviews, VampireCabbit! I actually thought of your piece when I wrote last chapter, so maybe it was actually me copying you…? (Btw, people, if you haven't read VampireCabbit's "Charitable Death," that fanfic is awesome.) **

**Well, let's hear how Angela's doing at Shibusen, shall we?**

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**"_I call myself a chameleon."__Dan O'Brien_

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_Angela liked Kim. Sometimes, Kim would sit and talk with her about clouds and candy and magic, and Kim's hands would glow pink when she hugged An goodbye. When Kim's hands turned pink, Angela would feel a warmth flow over her, and An would be calm, even if An really wanted Kim to stay longer.

Jackie was fun, too. Jackie and Harvar fought a lot when they didn't know An was watching. When they knew she was around, Jackie would start talking in a baby voice, which An did not appreciate, but at least she tried to be friendly.

Harvar babysat Angela more often, but he did not play with her much. He did catch her once when she almost fell down, so An thought he must be okay.

Angela had made great friends with Fire and Thunder, who were the only other ones An's age. The pair loved to play, and even when they did not feel like playing, their fighting was funny. Fire and Thunder had a meister (An still didn't quite know what that meant) named Kilik, who An thought acted like Mifune, but Kilik didn't like her. He acted friendly, but Angela saw him glare at her sometimes. An wondered if it was because she was a witch.

Then there was Tsubaki. Tsubaki played with Angela and Fire and Thunder, no matter how sore her back got. (An thought Tsubaki might have hurt her back at Baga Yaba… or whatever that place was.) Tsubaki acted like a mommy, just like Mifune had once acted like a daddy. She always smiled, and she played tag, and she brought An cookies she baked.

Angela even liked Spiky a little, even if he did act like a monkey. Spiky's smiles were _real_, and even if An thought he was stupid, An knew that he would take care of her. Angela knew Mifune had talked about Spiky as a rival, and An respected that. An even thought Spiky could be funny, like when he let the blond girl (was her name Patty?) beat him in the match.

"You seem to fit in well, Angela. It looks like you're making friends," Miss Nygus commented one night as Angela settled into bed. One corner of the infirmary had been made up into An's room. Angela loved it; it may not have been like her castle, but she had stayed in worse places with Mifune. Angela had a bed, big fluffy pillows, a shelf with clothes and books, and big green curtains to give her some privacy.

"Mm-hm," Angela said as she crawled into bed. "I'm tiiired," An yawned.

"I bet. Try to go to sleep now, okay? I'll be back in the morning." Miss Nygus patted Angela's head and began to walk away.

"Miss Nygus?" The nurse turned to look back. "When is Mifune coming back?"

Miss Nygus just smiled. Angela watched as the nurse walked away. That's what everyone did when she asked; they smiled and pretended like they didn't hear.

Angela laid back on the bed. An was making friends, and she did like Shibusen. There was plenty of food and room to run around and lots of nice people. But there wasn't Mifune.

When was he coming to get her?

Angela felt the tears welling up, and before long, she was crying into her pillow. An had never spent so long without her guardian. An wondered if he had been bullied again and got hurt, and that made An cry harder.

"Hey, half-pint."

An gasped. Instinctively, she turned invisible and stilled her breath, just as Mifune had taught her. Unfortunately, the hand resting on the top of her pillow remained visible. Spiky sat down on the edge of An's bed, placing a hand on the top of her head. "Don't cry. You don't have anything to worry about, pipsqueak."

"Meanie," Angela said, returning to normal.

Spiky turned to smirk at her. "Hey, are those tears? Better dry up there. Don't you think Mifune would be sad to see you like this, especially with so many people worried about you?"

Angela stuck out her tongue, but then An turned away and started to wipe her tears away with both fists. Angela knew Mifune wouldn't want An to cry.

"Good girl. Well, I got the last of my stuff," and here Spiky held up the small bag of items he had left beside the infirmary cot he had slept on for the past several weeks, "so I'm going back to my house." He stood up, brushing imaginary dust off his pants, and began to walk away just as Miss Nygus had done a few minutes ago.

"Wait." Angela sniffed as she pushed aside her blankets. He didn't slow down. She sniffed again. "Black Star?"

He stopped. "Yeah?"

"Um… An's… uh…"

Spiky turned back, turning his head to one side. "What's wrong?"

"… lonely…" Angela looked down, embarrassed. "I'm lonely without Mifune."

Spiky frowned. He didn't say anything for a minute, but then he started shouting, "This place isn't a place for kids! It's empty and cold, and it smells bad. What are they thinking keeping a kid like you in here?"

Angela stared at him for a second before he smirked again. Then An joined in, yelling at the top of her lungs, "It's small and the noise echoes and the floors are tiled! This isn't a place for kids!"

They stopped to listen as their shouts echoed against the walls, and then they both laughed.

"Yeah, something like that," Spiky said. "Hey, I have an idea. How about you come home with me?"

Angela frowned. "Huh?"

"Y'know, like a sleepover. I can call Miss Nygus when we get back. Come on, Tsubaki's making dumplings tonight."

"Really?" Angela grinned, imagining a warm kitchen full of food and conversation. For the first time since An came to Shibusen, she truly felt excited; she wouldn't be sleeping all by herself tonight. "Okay! Black Star!"

He raised an eyebrow as An ran over and grabbed his hand in both of hers. "Hey, that's twice you've called me by my real name. You sick?"

Angela giggled. She knew Mifune would come back for her, and life would return to normal. In the meantime, though, An knew Black Star would make sure she was okay. After all, he liked kids.


	5. Souffle: Marie

***clears throat* The MRI results are finally in, and… da da da… Kidd's brain is, surprisingly and freakishly abnormally, perfectly symmetrical. (Wow, three adverbs in one sentence…) **

**This chapter we'll meet Marie Mjolnir, the marriage-obsessed Demon Hammer. I knew I wanted to write a Marie one-shot after rereading Chapters 38-40 of Soul Eater, but I'm not sure what happened after that. I remember consciously placing Stein in the scene, and after that, Marie practically stole my pen and wrote the story for me. Wasn't that nice of her? **

… **alright, honestly, this took me three hours to write, one painful sentence at a time. I'm not even sure it made sense. Tell me what you think, please?**

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_"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad." ~ Dave Barry_

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"I love the soufflé here."

"The last time you ate here, you only got the wine, right?"

" Because I was waiting for B.J.," Marie affirmed with a nod. "Ooh, thank you," she added as Stein pulled out the chair for her.

Stein smiled, and Marie stifled a laugh. Stein seemed as emotionless as a corpse sometimes, but after spending so long with the man on the run, Marie had come to learn his subtle expressions, how his smile never showed teeth unless he was being insane or sarcastic (she hoped the latter). This smile, however, was abnormally flat—a _nervous_ smile.

Marie, misreading Stein's discomfort, decided right then and there to give him something to be nervous about. Turning to the waiter, a particularly handsome young man, Marie regarded the man from beneath her eyelashes and curled her lips into her own, unerringly seductive smile. When the redhead glanced down at her, Marie raised her conspicuously ring-less hand to her cheek, practically inviting the man to flirt right back.

Instead, the man drawled, "Your drink, ma'am?"

Marie's seductive smile promptly melted into a dangerous scowl. "_What_ did you just call me?"

Stein looked just as bored as the waiter, but at least he knew Marie better. He quickly interceded, "She'd like the strawberry wine, please, and I suggest you call her _miss_ in the future." Marie turned her glare toward Stein (if "ma'am" makes a woman sound old, "miss" makes her sound lonely), but he ignored her completely. "A scotch for me."

As the waiter sauntered away (suddenly he didn't seem so attractive), Marie pulled a compact from her purse and checked her reflection in the tiny mirror. No, her make-up was perfectly intact; what had gone wrong? That smile had never failed her before….

"What are you doing?" Stein asked as she tucked the compact away again.

"Nothing," Marie snapped, looking away as she felt a blush creeping into her cheeks. Stein might not care about physical appearance (he wore his stitched-up lab coat even to this high-priced restaurant), but Marie certainly did.

For a minute, Stein did not speak again, and the waiter returned with their drinks. Marie sulkily ignored the waiter, allowing Stein to order both his crab legs and her cheese soufflé. After the waiter left again with his order pad, Marie sipped the wine before wrinkling her nose. "Ugh. This needed another six months in the cellar."

Stein shrugged as he sipped his own drink. "This is fine. Do you want me to order you something else?" he asked, his smirk obvious despite the glass he held at the edge of his lips.

Marie waved away his, ahem, concern. "It's fine."

Marie watched as the tables around them began to fill with couples young and old. _B.J. would have liked this_, she thought as she cupped the glass in her hands. The Deathaurant always had such a peaceful atmosphere that even those technicians with Soul Perception enjoyed coming here. The people here came to have a good time, and with that expectation in mind, even their souls seemed to smile. The very air seemed to hum in tune with the quiet conversations and soft laughter.

Though he would never openly admit it, Stein seemed to enjoy the ambience as well. He had that look on his face that told Marie that if he hadn't given up smoking, he would be savoring his favorite brand of cigarette and contentedly daydreaming about dissecting the surrounding civilians. As it was, he slowly traced the rim of his glass with a finger, probably wondering if the silver knife beside his plate would suffice as a provisional scalpel.

"Stein?" Marie began hesitantly. "What is it like to have Soul Perception?"

Stein glanced up from his scotch. "Why? Did Maka ask you something?"

"No, nothing like that." Marie tried again: "Is it on all the time, or is it something that comes and goes?"

Stein suddenly seemed bored. "B.J. was more sensitive than most of us."

Marie tightened her lips into an angry little 'O' before pointing out, "That's not what I asked."

"But that's why you came here, right?" Stein gestured sharply at the surrounding restaurant. "This is where you were supposed to meet him, right? But he never showed up, because he died, and he left you all alone. And now you're worried that that _meant_ something."

Marie glowered at him. Not only did she not know where this nonsense had come from, but he was attracting the stares of everyone around him with his raised voice. Marie did not appreciate the attention. "This has nothing to do with B.J.," she started, but then she realized what Stein had implied in his last jab. "And it did not _mean_ anything, except maybe that I'll slaughter Justin Law next time I meet him."

"I'll believe that when you do."

Marie could feel her indignation rising like the river behind the dam. She forced herself to take a breath; one needed patience when dealing with Franken Stein. "Do you have no confidence in me, Stein? Yes, it hurt when he never showed up, I admit it. But he would have come, if he hadn't been ambushed by a traitor." The word came out as a hiss, and Marie had to take another deep breath before continuing. "He wouldn't have wanted me to be alone, and I won't be. Not much longer."

"Is that why you're flirting with that boy-toy?"

Marie turned red. "At least I'm _trying_ to avoid the life of a recluse, unlike _some_ psychotic hermits I know!"

"When given the choice between solitude and self-debasement, I choose the former."

Marie opened her mouth to make a retort, but the waiter chose that moment to place the food on the table. Marie' mouth merely widened at the sight of her plate. Her soufflé, which she had been looking forward to so much, had been burned black, and it smelled vaguely of off-brand plasticheese. Not only that, but when the waiter placed it on the table, two flies that had been sitting on the top of her meal suddenly took wink, buzzing around her face once before flitting away.

Marie snapped.

"What the hell is this?!" She grabbed the waiter's collar with one hand while jabbing a finger toward the offending plate. "I ordered a soufflé, not a fly-infested chunk of charcoal! This is the best restaurant in Death City? What a joke!"

The waiter obviously did not realize what danger he was in. He sneered at the outraged blond and said in a tone heavily laced with sarcasm, "I'm _so_ sorry, ma'am."

Marie transformed the heel of the palm into a hammer's edge before she punched the waiter in his face. The poor man flew half-way across the room before he collided midair with another, more innocent waiter. The sound of crashing, clattering silverware filled the restaurant, drawing all eyes to the Marie, who stood there and literally quivered with rage.

"I'm leaving," she announced as she snatched her purse. Marie could hear the shocked gasps around her as she stalked toward the exit. She heard Stein saying something to the waiter, too, but she didn't care to hear what it was before she slammed the door of the Deathaurant.

Marie started to cry as she stormed down the street. It had started to rain, and only a few umbrella-wielding travelers remained on the road. Someone called "Marie-sensei," but

Marie did not pause as she stomped past. She was furious. All she had wanted was a night out, a good dinner and maybe a conversation. _Damn Stein._

Then the heel of Marie's shoe caught on a piece of uneven cobblestone before breaking off. Marie tripped and landed on her knees, effectively ripping the hem of her black dress. She did not bother standing up. She merely shifted so that she was leaning against a brick wall, allowing the rain to mix with her tears.

It did not particularly surprise her when Stein found her a few minutes later. He sighed loudly when he spotted her, and Marie wondered vaguely if she could still argue with him; she seemed to have spent all of her energy on that outburst.

Then Stein draped his lab coat over Mary's head. She quickly pulled it down to her chin so that she could see, and she watched as Stein sank into a seated position beside her. He stared straight ahead, no expression on his face.

Marie was confused.

"Uh… thanks," she managed, and then she pulled the lab coat closer, inhaling his scent. Stein did not wear cologne, so all of his clothes smelled like metal and bleach. That might have put off other people, but Marie found the scent reassuring. It reminded her of the laboratory that she had come to call home.

"It's always there," Stein said suddenly, startling Marie out of her thoughts. "The Soul Perception, I mean. Most of us close our eyes to it, ignoring it until we have some use for it. B.J. couldn't do that. He was too big-hearted."

Marie silently agreed. Then she muttered, "That's why he was so good, right?" Stein nodded, and Marie hugged her knees underneath the lab coat, hunching over as if she had to hold her heart together. "He hated his job."

"Yeah."

They sat like that for a while, both of them getting soaked by the rain. Marie started to cry again, and Stein silently rubbed her shoulders with a hand. Then Marie turned and buried her face in Stein's shoulder, and his hand moved to rest on the top of her head. "I thought I got over it. His death. I thought it would get _better_."

Stein patted her hair. She looked up and saw that he was looking down at her with a flat smile. "Statistically…"

Marie gasped as she sat up and mock-hit Stein's shoulder. "Don't even start with that!" she warned, though her tone was playful. "You could just say, "You'll be okay," like a normal person."

"You'll be okay."

Marie smiled as her eyelids drooped. "Thank you." Then she settled against the brick wall right beside Stein, spreading the lab coat so that it covered both of them, even though it was as soaked as they were. The streetlamp began to flicker to life as they sat there, neither especially eager to get up anytime soon.

After some time, Marie asked, "Stein? You don't think I'll be alone forever, do you?"

Stein chuckled in response. "Really, Marie? I thought you were brighter than that."

"What are you talking about?" she demanded, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout.

"You do realize why that waiter didn't hit on you, right?"

Marie thought back, and she suddenly realized that she and Stein had been out to dinner together, sitting at a table for two and surrounded with couples. "Y-you mean—"

Stein chuckled again before he reached over and brushed his lips against her hair. "You're not alone, Marie."


	6. Migraine: Kilik

**Sorry for the wait, everybody! Now, as requested, here is Kilik Lunge. =)**

**I took some liberties in this chapter. The story was inspired in part by my two sisters, who were obnoxiously loud when I got a migraine this morning. I tried to fit the situation, and diction, to Kilik's character, and this is what happened. The parentheses in this story are meant to be sarcastic asides, things that Kilik notices but wouldn't ever say. I think this character is rather reserved in that way; he'd probably be as brash and egocentric as Black Star if he wasn't so busy trying to be a role model for Fire and Thunder, and the rest of his team for that matter.**

**Always: my reviewers are amazing and undeniably awesome. Thank you sooo much! **

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"_Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." __~ Marc Brown_

* * *

Kilik Lunge had a headache.

Scratch that. Kilik Lunge had a migraine. And if a headache is a pinprick, then a migraine is a frickin' claymore to the gut… or head, as the case may be.

It had started with Ox. As much as Kilik supported the Ox-Kim shipping, the two lovers annoyed the crap out of him. Ox had proposed a total of seventeen times since eight a.m. this morning, and Kim had rejected him a total of seventeen times. Both processes involved a copious amount of screaming, whether from Ox and Kim themselves or, when Jackie threatened Ox in an attempt to fend off further proposals, from their bickering weapons.

This got old real fast.

Then there had been gym class. They had been playing dodge ball—a dangerous enough sport, made even more dangerous when played between teams of combat-trained and highly competitive technicians. (The weapons, of course, played their own game in an attempt to keep the less acrobatic weapons from being murdered with gator balls. Coincidentally, Patty's team won after Patty nailed Soul in the face, causing what might have been Soul's first nosebleed not caused by a certain voluptuous feline.)

The game had come down to a showdown of Kilik, Ox, and Maka versus Black Star, Kidd, and Kim. The balls had changed sides several times before Kim made the fight personal by distracting Ox by "accidentally" tripping. Black Star had pelted Ox while the poor guy was offering to give Kim a hand up; Kim stuck her tongue out at Ox before she caught a ball tossed to her by Kidd. (Did he mention that those seventeen proposals all took place between eight a.m. and the end of that morning's gym class? Yes, Ox had disappeared for the rest of the day, probably to cry his eyes out in the boys' restroom. Not that he belonged in there… but back to the point…)

Maka, who had been standing a few feet from Kilik when Ox got out, muttered something about cheaters before striking back: yanking out one pigtail and sending Kidd into convulsions. Kilik promptly knocked Kidd out of the game, and a few seconds later, Maka clipped Kim's shoulder. Black Star then shouted, "It's my time!!" before he lodged a gator ball in Maka's stomach and launched the unfortunate girl into the bleachers.

(Yes, SoMa fans, Soul did come running to make sure his meister had not been severely injured; however, he had been holding paper towels over his battered nose and didn't exactly exude an air of romance, or coolness for that factor. Kilik found it vaguely pathetic, but he was somewhat preoccupied and did not think much of it at the time.)

It was down to Kilik versus Black Star. For a moment, both stood on either side of the gymnasium, hands empty. Then they sprinted to gather the six gator balls; fortunately for Kilik, his were closer, but Black Star was faster and still managed to gather three in his arms. (You bet Kilik was jealous; how did that brat _move_ so fast?) Then they were standing again, gator balls at the ready, waiting for the other to move.

Black Star smirked. Kilik felt the throb of his migraine kicking in.

Kilik knew Black Star had faster reflexes, so he waited until Black Star whipped one of the balls at him. Kilik tossed his own ball, and the two missiles collided mid-air, both bouncing harmlessly toward the sidelines. Then Black Star shot another ball after just a second, and this time Kilik ducked under, rushing forward several meters before launching both of his remaining projectiles at Black Star. Kilik grinned with victory.

Then Black Star jumped straight into the air, easily avoiding Kilik's missiles, and threw his last gator ball down onto the back of Kilik's head. Kilik's face collided with the gym floor, and Kilik thanked Shinigami when his glasses did not break.

Damn Black Star.

Kim ran over and asked if he was okay, and Kilik brushed her aside. He glowered at his blue-haired rival, who was currently proclaiming his greatness to anyone who would listen. It was bad enough to have his rival squash him in front of the entire class, but this? Not only had Black Star practically given him a concussion, but his loud voice was making his head sear with pain.

For the first time that day, someone seemed to realize why Kilik had been squinting his eyes. Kim, his teammate and his friend, put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Sorry, Kilik; my healing doesn't affect migraines." He smiled and thanked her anyway; it was nice of her to notice at least.

Kilik spent the rest of the afternoon trying (and failing) to sleep through Stein's lecture. When the bell finally rang, Kilik dragged himself to his feet and grabbed the hands of Fire and Thunder. (It was their tradition that Kilik held the twins' hands as they left school together; that way, Kilik never lost the pair in the crowd, as had happened one stressful afternoon a couple years ago.) The trio made it to the front staircase of the school before a female voice called Kilik's name.

She was a pretty technician from a different class, but Kilik would have been lying if he said he knew anything else about her. The girl ran up to him (huffing slightly, Kilik noted, and he wondered how a technician could be so out of shape). Then she smiled at him and asked, "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," Kilik said, but in his head, he was wondering if he should order take-out tonight. It probably wasn't the healthiest choice for the twins, but he was sick of cooking.

"Alone?" the girl asked. Kilik waited a few moments, but the girl never once glanced down at his two young weapons. She acted as if they weren't there at all, and it kind of pissed him off.

"I don't think so." Kilik turned, pulling Fire and Thunder with him. The twins glanced over their backpack-laden shoulders to stare at the girl in confusion. As he walked away, Kilik called back, "You better build up your cardio if you ever want to make a Death Scythe."

He might have heard a harrumph behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His migraine was getting worse.

When the trio returned to their apartment, Kilik told the twins, straightforward, that he had a migraine and needed them to be quiet. The twins glanced at each other before smiling coyly and nodding. Kilik chose to ignore that glance as he retreated to his bedroom and dropped onto his bed, covering his head with a pillow.

Fire and Thunder were such good girls. They did not make a sound as Kilik took a nap. In fact, Kilik did not stir for over an hour before he awoke to a sudden loud _crash_ in the kitchen.

Kilik leaped to his feet and dashed to the kitchen, immediately imagining the worst: Fire knocking over a pot of boiling water, Thunder slicing her hands open on broken plates, both of them buried in canned goods after trying to open the pantry door. (Yes, that last option was probably the worst; Kilik sometimes feared for his own safety when he tried to retrieve a can of peas from the chaotic avalanche-in-waiting inside the pantry. What? He was a teenager; he was allowed to be messy.)

Of course, Kilik did not find anything of the sort. What he did find was the twins picking a large pot up off the floor and glancing at him rather shame-facedly, almost tearing up.

"What are you two doing?" Kilik asked, laughing when the pair both rushed over to bury their faces against the sides of his jeans, sobbing and hiccupping. Kilik glanced over at the large pot, the stepping stool pushed against the cabinets, and the large box of macaroni on the counter. "Were you two trying to make dinner?"

The twins nodded against his pant legs. He laughed again and crouched down, pulling them both into a hug. "That's very nice of you," he said, crushing them against his chest until they began to giggle and wriggle away. Thunder patted the side of his head hesitantly, and he grinned at her. "Yeah, the migraine's gone. Thank you for being quiet for me."

Then Fire's stomach gurgled, and the twins squirmed with embarrassment. Kilik sighed and picked up the pot that had fallen onto the floor. "Okay, I guess it's time to make dinner. How do you feel about mac'n'cheese?" The twins nodded eagerly. "Good. Wanna help?" They nodded again, grinning ear-to-ear even with their eyes still wet from their quick cry. Kilik resisted the urge to squeeze them into another hug and instead instructed them to open the box of macaroni.

So Kilik Lunge had a bad day.

Scratch that. Kilik Lunge had a great evening with his two favorite people. And if fighting prekishins and Arachnophobia was considered a good deed, then helping his little partners conquer the stove made him feel like a frickin' saint.

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**Next time: Nygus.**

**Also, I'm thinking of doing a short series on the side. The story would follow Maka as she tries to deal with bullies at Shibusen while wondering about the role of the technician. The idea's been floating around in my head for a while. Tell me if you'd be interested, and I might have the first chapter out in a few days.**


	7. Words: Nygus

**I love Mira Nygus. Relaxed and friendly but no-nonsense and pretty darn scary when she's mad. This chapter was meant to be a bit more subtle, so I hope the message gets across. Writing Nygus's flashback was quite fun; I may have to make Stein's one-shot a flashback, too. No, Stein is not next, but I'll write a chapter for him eventually. =)**

**Speaking of which, thank you to all my awesome reviewers, and because you asked for it, next chapter belongs to Chrona.**

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"_A knife-wound heals, but a tongue wound festers." ~ Turkish Proverb_

* * *

Nygus loved her job. Sure, she might not have been a Death Scythe (yet; she and Sid were working on it), but she truly enjoyed jogging with the morning gym class, mixing medicines in the infirmary, and, best of all, helping her students.

She did not, however, enjoy helping her students in their personal quarrels—so when Soul Eater walked in one morning with an irritable Maka Albarn half-slung over his shoulder, Nygus had a bad feeling that she would soon be involved.

Soul dumped Maka rather unceremoniously onto a nearby cot before explaining to Nygus, "She twisted her ankle last night while we were playing basketball. I did first-aid, but I think it got worse overnight."

Nygus bent down beside Maka to examine the hastily-applied bandages. Maka winced when Nygus ran her fingers along the bone. "It's a fracture. You'll need a temporary cast, I'm afraid."

As Nygus walked over to a cabinet to retrieve the necessary supplies, she watched as Maka scowled and muttered something about basketballs being worse than prekishins. Soul scoffed, all the while glaring at his meister's injured foot.

"You know, you better lift your leg up, or your ankle will swell even more."

Nygus had to stifle a laugh when Maka did lift her leg—to kick Soul's shin. "Jerk!"

"Ouch! This is what I get for worrying about you? Geez."

"That's what you get for calling my ankles fat."

"Argh, whatever." Soul walked out of the infirmary in a huff. Maka glared after him, so angry that she didn't even realize that she had just messed up her bandages.

"I'd rather you didn't give me any more patients, Maka," Nygus scolded lightly, but Maka merely shrugged as the interim nurse walked over and began to remove the bandages.

"Miss Nygus?" Maka asked timidly. "Just out of curiosity… from a purely medical standpoint, what's the average ankle size?"

Nygus chuckled. "Maka, your ankles are fine." When Maka pursed her lips in frustration, Nygus explained, "Ankle size mostly depends on bone size, and because of your small frame, your ankles are actually below average."

"It's not a good thing," Nygus added when she saw Maka's relieved expression, "since smaller bones are easier to break, especially when those bones belong to an active meister." Nygus could see that her logic had not made a lasting impression on the girl, who, despite her intelligence, was still a young woman after all. In fact, after Nygus set the cast and walked back to her desk to find a particular pain medication, the nurse glanced back and caught Maka turning her uninjured ankle to the side, checking its size with a doubtful look on her face.

Nygus sighed. Yes, she would have to get involved.

* * *

Not so long ago, Mira Nygus had been quite similar to Maka Albarn— quick on her feet, frightened by next-to-nothing, and somewhat violent when provoked.

Unfortunately for Sid Barrett, Mira Nygus differed from Maka Albarn in one vital aspect. Whereas Maka vented her anger with something as (relatively) harmless as a book, Mira could transform any one of her fingers into a rather sharp, metallic object.

Even worse, as a student weapon, Mira could not control this transformation as well as other weapons could. She had transformed countless times in anger, stabbing anything and anyone around her before she realized what she was doing.

"Nygus, no!"

Mira gasped as she realized what she was doing. She instantly jerked back, and her finger-turned-knife slipped out of the hole in Sid's stomach. "Oh, no, Sid! I'm so sorry!"

"Urgh," Sid groaned as he pressed a fist against the hole in his shirt, trying to stop the bleeding with pressure. "Can you get the first-aid kit, Nygus?"

Mira nodded and hurried back to her locker to retrieve the box. Seeing her meister in pain, she immediately forgot what had irritated her in the first place, and she reappeared within seconds to start dressing the wound she herself had inflicted.

"Sorry sorry sorry," she murmured while applying bandages. Sid winced slightly.

"You're getting gentler," Sid noted as he looked away, pretending to watch the antics of their classmates. Mira could hear Spirit exasperatedly scolding his insane little meister some distance away, but she did not look. She couldn't— for a moment, her eyes were glued to Sid's face, mesmerized by the angles of his profile and the contrastingly soft look in his eyes. He had that loose smile on his face that meant that he was feeling good today, and Mira blushed a bit when she realized that normal people would be quite annoyed with holes in their sides. She was very lucky to have a partner like him.

Sid turned to look at her, and Mira answered a bit too late: "Thanks, I've been practicing."

"On me," Sid said with a smirk, and Mira scowled at him. "I'm just glad you didn't get that kid. He may have had a bad mouth, but he was just trash-talking. He didn't mean it."

Mira's scowl deepened. "That kid" had been about to taste her steel when Sid jumped in front of her, taking the blow for the asshole who had been insulting him only a minute earlier.

"I won't let people talk about you like that," Mira growled as she stowed away the first-aid kit. "They say you're a second-rate meister just because we don't have many souls."

Sid shrugged. "It's true. We don't have many souls." When he saw her murderous glare, he merely laughed. "Don't worry. I'll make you a Death Scythe eventually. We're just taking the scenic route, you know?"

Mira nodded reluctantly. There were more important things than prekishin souls, like gathering intelligence for Shinigami and, in her case especially, learning anger management.

"Hey, look at that," Sid said, pointing toward the main staircase in front of Shibusen. Yumi had caught up with Spirit and Stein and was currently chewing them out for some antic they had pulled last week. "Man, she needs to loosen up."

"She never will," Mira said as she sat down beside her technician. "I think she enjoys being a tight-ass."

"Language," Sid admonished, but the way he said it, he might as well have been telling her the sky was blue. "Aw, you need to loosen up, too, Nygus. All that pent-up rage is only gonna mess you up."

Mira didn't answer at first. She knew he was right, even if she did still want to track down that kid from before and cut him up. Still, watching Sid was he relaxed in the sunshine made her relax a bit, and before she knew it, she was smiling just from watching him enjoy the day.

"Well, I guess I have a good teacher for that, don't I?" she finally responded, and Sid scoffed at the thought of him teaching.

* * *

Nygus smiled at the memory. She had loosened up over the years, in part because of Sid's words that afternoon. Nygus knew from personal experience that knife wounds healed; from the many times she bandaged up Sid to the countless injuries she had treated as Shibusen's nurse, Nygus had proven that flesh repaired itself. Words did not—especially when they came from someone as close as a partner and best friend.

Nygus had made up her mind. She needed to have a chat with Soul Eater. Thus, when the weapon sullenly returned several minutes later for his technician, Nygus told Maka to wait a minute before taking Soul out into the hallway.

"What is it?" Soul asked. To his credit, he looked sincerely concerned about his partner. However, Nygus wasn't about to let him off the hook.

For the first time in a long time, Nygus allowed a partial transformation. Soul jerked back against the wall as Nygus suddenly pointed a sharp metal finger at his throat.

"You," she threatened with a deceivingly sweet voice, "are never to even insinuate that Maka has anything but tiny ankles ever again. It's not nice, and it makes her insecure. Do you understand?" Sweating, Soul hastily nodded, and Nygus withdrew her finger. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have paperwork to arrange."

Nygus returned to her work with a serene smile on her face. Behind her, Soul would rub his throat with his hand before wondering aloud, "What was _that_ about?"


	8. Smiles: Chrona

**Yay, two updates in one night. I'm just that good, lol.**

**My version of Chrona is female, and this one-shot occurs sometime after Chapter 63, after Kidd and Chrona have safely returned to Shibusen. (Please don't crush my fan girl heart by suggesting otherwise.) I wasn't in the mood for something depressing, so it ended up being another fluffy chapter. By the way, the quotes at the beginning are from the party in Chapter 30.**

**As always, I love my readers and reviewers! Thank you!**

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"_It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." ~ Mark Twain_

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"Nobody's going to run away. Join our circle at your own pace; there's no rush."

"If there's anyone teasing you, feel free to let me know. The great Black Star will beat them down!"

"We're all your friends!"

Chrona truly… did not know how to deal with this.

At that party at Gallows Mansion all those months ago, Chrona had been surrounded with smiling faces for the first time in her life. It had given her heart-warming joy, gut-wrenching guilt… and hope, all that time she had been gone.

Chrona welcomed the chance to see Shibusen again. Roaming the halls, she could see the corridors where she and Marie had gotten lost, the classroom where Maka taught her to write poetry, and the room where she had stayed before, complete with smiley-face pillows that did not, despite Shinigami's assurance, make the room any less scary.

It brought back _too few_ memories. These were the only memories Chrona wanted to keep.

"Chrona? What're you doing down here?"

Startled, Chrona wheeled around. Kidd stood several feet away wearing a white button-up shirt over his black pants. He smiled at her, but Chrona backed away, squeaking, "S-s-sorry!"

"For what?" he asked, slouching slightly as he peered into the small room. "You're not staying here, are you?" he added, his smile dissolving into a disapproving frown.

"W-well, I'm staying at Maka's for a few days," she said.

"Sounds crowded," Kidd remarked.

"**It is**," Ragnarok grumbled as he suddenly emerged from Chrona's back. "**They never shut up!**"

Kidd nodded sympathetically at the black blob, er, weapon. "I'm not sure what Maka was thinking. They're already keeping Blair over there…" He paused to stare straight at Chrona's face, and she froze in fear. "Chrona."

"Y-yes?"

"Let me cut your hair."

"**Where the hell did that come from?**" Ragnarok asked, yanking on Chrona's hair in annoyance.

"Wait! Please! You're making it even more asymmetrical!" Kidd jumped forward, grabbing Ragnarok's fists and wrestling them away from Chrona's head, effectively pulling her hair even more.

"Aaah, stop it!"

"**Let go, you creep!**"

"You let go!"

"MAKA CHOP!"

Suddenly, Ragnarok and Kidd were both clutching their heads, and Maka was standing over them holding equally heavy dictionaries. The pigtailed technician paid no attention as the two groveling men as she stowed the books under one arm and offered her free hand to Chrona. "Hey, you okay? I came to pick you up!"

"Th-thanks," Chrona said as she shook Maka's hand. It was a strange greeting, but Chrona liked that small physical contact. It was comforting.

"That won't be necessary," Kidd interrupted. Miraculously, he had recovered and sprung back to his feet, adjusting the color of his shirt officiously. "I'm taking Chrona back to the mansion."

"Eh?" Maka managed to ask.

"M-me?"

Kidd nodded once before grabbing Maka and pulling her over to stand in front of him. "Chrona, pay attention. Maka is a good example. Smile, Maka." Maka smiled, but she clearly did not understand what Kidd was after. "See? Her smile is straight, unlike Soul's weird lopsided smirk." Kidd shuddered. "She wears her hair in pigtails, one on each side, perfectly aligned… wait…"

Kidd paused in his presentation to adjust one of these "perfectly aligned" pigtails, and Maka stomped on his foot to make him release her.

"She knows what symmetry is, Kidd," Maka said with a sigh. "Anyway, why does Chrona have to go to the mansion? We were having a sleep-over."

"Not allowed!" Kidd exclaimed, crossing his arms in a big X over his chest. "It must be postponed until I can fix this… this…"

Kidd jabbed a finger at Chrona's hair. "This asymmetrical monstrosity!"

"**Who are you calling asymmetrical, fool?!**" Ragnarok demanded, brandishing his fists.

"You!"

Maka patted Chrona's shoulder before the poor girl could start crying. She muttered, "Don't worry. It's not you. It's definitely him."

Kidd quickly realized that none of these people had been convinced of the importance of symmetry, and rather than explaining it in detail, he fell back on his all-purpose Plan B: he got on his knees and begged. "Please, please, please!"

Chrona clammed up. "I—I don't know how to deal with this!"

"Just say yes," Kidd begged, turning on his puppy eyes.

"Y-yes?"

"Great!" Kidd leaped to his feet again, and before she knew it, Chrona was being dragged down the hallway behind the energetic shinigami. "I'll make you gorgeous, Chrona, don't you worry!"

Maka rolled her eyes before winking at Chrona. "Have fun, I guess. Don't worry; we'll reschedule the sleepover. See you tomorrow, Chrona!"

After three hours of torture and several platefuls of food shoved into Ragnarok's mouth to keep him quiet, Liz held up a mirror in front of Chrona. "What do you think?"

Chrona stared at her reflection. Kidd hadn't changed her haircut all that much, only trimming her bangs and parting them in the (exact) middle, as well as evening out the rest of her hair. It still looked choppy, but stylishly so. Chrona blushed with pleasure. "It's beautiful."

"Pwetty~" Patty squealed.

"Kid did well," Liz agreed.

Even Ragnarok turned to Kidd and grunted, "**Not bad, stripy.**"

Kidd had gone starry-eyed over his creation. "Wonderful! Just wonderful! The power of symmetry is awe-inspiring!"

Liz smirked as she walked over and wrapped an arm around Kidd's shoulder. "You know, you really ought to complement the girl and not the technique, Kidd-O. A gnarly old goat could be completely symmetrical, but it still wouldn't look attractive."

"I disagree," Kidd said stubbornly.

"Goat? Mwaah?" Patty glanced at Chrona, but Chrona did not know how to deal with animal noises.

"Yes, mwaah." Kidd sighed before turning to Chrona. "You look beautiful."

Chrona blushed deep crimson, and Ragnarok cackled obnoxiously. "I don't know how to deal with this!!"

"You say 'thank you!'" Patty suggested with a silly grin.

"Patty, will you come help me?" Liz suggested, ushering her younger sister out of the room before smiling at Chrona. "It's okay. He doesn't bite."

Of course, this phrase gave Chrona a mental image involving a Kidd with Ragnarok's teeth, which only flustered her more.

As soon as the other girls left, Kidd glared at Ragnarok, and the Demon Sword sighed and muttered, "**Fine, fine**," before disappearing into Chrona's back.

Kidd did not stand there staring at her. Instead, he began to double-check the paintings in the room that could have been knocked slightly off-center or candles that could have melted the wrong way. He did not make eye contact as he asked, "Do you really like it? I can always cut it again."

Chrona quailed at the thought of another three-hour-long haircut. "No! I-I like it!"

Kidd smiled. "Good—because it does make you look beautiful."

"N-no I'm n-n-not," Chrona stuttered, her face burning with embarrassment.

"Of course you are. If you don't believe me, ask Liz or Maka. They were talking about it just this morning." Kidd walked over and patted Chrona's hair, being careful not to knock even a strand off-center. "Anyway, it's getting pretty late. You'll stay here, won't you?"

"Yes."

"Wait." Kidd shook his head suddenly, and Chrona, who had not moved at all, wondered what she had done. "That's not what I meant. I meant, will you stay at the mansion? We have the extra room, and they're symmetrical." Kidd grimaced slightly, probably remembering the asymmetrical design of that room in Shiusen.

Chrona looked down at the ground. Was he serious? She didn't want to get her hopes up. "But… why?"

"Because you're my friend."

Chrona was startled into looking at his face again, and when she saw his smile, she felt tears at her eyes. Again with the idea of "friends," which Chrona could not understand… Before Chrona came to Shibusen, she had never been so close to people before. She had killed so many people, and she worried that she didn't deserve "friends" and all the smiling faces that the word implied.

"It's okay," Kidd comforted, though his voice was almost monotone and he did not move any closer to her. "It's okay because you're my friend, too, right?"

"But, but… I don't know _how_!"

"It's easy," Kidd replied. "You care about me, don't you? And Maka and Black Star?"

She nodded, sniffing loudly. "And Liz, Patty, Soul, Tsubaki—"

"Yeah. That's all you need to do. That, and smile."

Chrona wiped away her tears with the back of her hand before trying to smile. She was somewhat disappointed when Kidd started chuckling behind his fist. Then he held up the mirror again, and when Chrona saw her own wavering smile, she soon joined her "friend" in giggling at her funny expression.

"Well, a laugh works, too."


	9. Blanket Fort: Liz

**Just so everyone knows, I'll be in Detroit this weekend… without my laptop. Meaning this is the last update until late Sunday/Monday morning. By then, maybe I'll have my Excalibur and Yumi chapters done; I started both but haven't finished them yet.**

**Today I was missing my own older sister, so I felt the urge to write the story for Elizabeth Thompson. Hope it does justice to this awesome character.**

**Other than that… all I have to say is that I feel bad for Kidd-O this time around. :/**

* * *

"_An older sister is a friend and defender—a listener, conspirator, a counselor, and a sharer of delights. And sorrows too."~ Pam Brown _

* * *

Liz had been refereeing for her friends' basketball game when Marie, who had been sitting on the bench beside her, suddenly mentioned, "You're like a big sister to all of them, aren't you?"

Liz had been startled, but she recovered quickly. "Well, I'm used to taking care of Patty. Besides, I like being the older sister."

* * *

_An older sister is a friend_

"Kidd and Black Star are kidnapping Maka, so you might as well hang out with us," Liz informed Soul after class one afternoon. "I'm teaching Patty and Tsubaki to play poker, and then we're having a marathon of Fullmetal Alchemist. That sound cool?"

Soul watched as Kidd and Black Star each looped an arm around one of Maka's and dragged the loudly complaining scythe technician from the room; they had been planning to teach Maka to play DDR for a few weeks now. They had all known about it, but Soul had been pretty put out when he heard that it was a "tech bonding time," a term that his own best friend had made up on the spot earlier that morning. Of course, everyone, except maybe Soul, knew that the two boys just wanted to embarrass Maka without Soul acting all overprotective and ruining the fun.

Liz, personally, had no problem calling Black Star out on this latest load of crap—thus her "weapons-only" sleepover.

Soul sighed before shrugging nonchalantly. "Sure, why not? It doesn't sound too girly."

"Can you bring some tunes, too? Those records you brought to the last party were awesome."

"Yeah." Soul made a show of yawning and stretching as he stood up. Just as he turned to go home, Soul paused and looked back at her. "Thanks, Liz."

Liz nodded, deliberately choosing then to study her nails. "Can't have fun knowing my friend's sitting at home bored to death." Then she lowered her voice and added, "Plus, we need to get back at those jerks for not inviting us along. Hey Soul, how do you feel about silly string?"

* * *

_and defender—_

The jerks behind Liz were really starting to piss her off. Really, everyone could hear them whispering behind their books. Was making fun of poor Chrona really that entertaining? Two rows back and several seats over, the purple-haired meister had that look on her face that clearly said that the meister would rather face a horde of demons than deal with these two loudmouths much longer.

"… is it even a she, or a he…"

_Of all the ridiculous things!_ Liz glared at the blackboard as she pretended to pay attention. _Just because Maka took her book-of-might and her roundhouse kicks with her on her mission…_

"Liz," Kidd quietly warned her. She bit her lip. She knew that if she interrupted Dr. Stein's lesson, she was toast, but then the guys behind her started whispering Medusa's name. Seeing Chrona's face drain of color, Liz finally snapped.

"Will you two please _shut up_?" she shouted as she jumped upright, sending her chair clattering to the floor as she grabbed both boys by their shirt collars. "I would love it if you learned to keep your thoughts to yourselves and let some of us concentrate! You do realize that your voice carries over the _entire_ room, don't you?"

"Because Liz is much subtler in her complaints," Kidd muttered wryly behind her.

"Because she was concentrating to begin with," Patty added with a giggle.

"Shut up, you two!!"

Dr. Stein ended up giving both of the boys as well as Liz afterschool detention. Liz didn't mind at all, however, after Chrona walked up to her later that day and stammered a quiet thanks.

* * *

_a listener,_

After shooing Kidd and Patty from the kitchen (Kidd for pestering the girls about their asymmetrical hair and Patty for laughing too loudly about it), Liz poured Tsubaki a cup of coffee and sat down in the chair opposite her. They were both soaked with the rain, wearing towels around their necks as their "asymmetrical" hair clung to the sides of their faces. Outside, thunder clapped ominously, and on the small television on the counter, a balding weatherman predicted more storms later in the evening.

Tsubaki took one sip of coffee before she bent her head and started crying. Without a word, Liz stood up again and walked around to lay her arms around Tsubaki's shoulders, leaning her chin on the ebony hair of her friend. Liz did not look down; she watched the reflection in one of the windows as Tsubaki let fat tears roll down her cheeks. Her cries weren't loud—Tsubaki was never loud—but her breathing was so erratic that Liz briefly considered calling Kidd back in to see if the girl needed medical attention.

After a few minutes, Tsubaki murmured her story, and Liz listened patiently, only tightening her hug when Tsubaki broke down again halfway through the retelling of her fight with Black Star. Liz gave her time, and slowly, Tsubaki recovered herself. When Liz refilled Tsubaki's coffee, the demon gun suggested shooting Black Star for being such a jerk, and Tsubaki giggled before declining the offer.

Tsubaki eventually calmed down, and after Liz ascertained that her breathing had evened out, she handed Tsubaki an umbrella and walked her toward the door. Just as Tsubaki stepped into the rain, she turned and squeezed Liz's hands briefly. "Thank you."

* * *

_conspirator,_

Stein took one look at his classroom, cranked his screw twice around, and leaned backward in his swivel chair to face his entire class of students standing in the hallway behind him.

"Why is my classroom filled to the ceiling with Cheetos…?"

Behind the other students, Liz and Black Star shared a covert grin before Kidd, who had been standing behind them, heaved a sigh and asked, "How much, exactly, do I owe the credit card company?"

* * *

_a counselor,_

"You're kidding me. You've _never_ worn eyeliner before?"

Maka squirmed, her face turning pink as she looked away from Liz's awestruck face. The pair currently sat in the gaudily decorated food court of the shopping mall, eating chili fries and slurping smoothies out of plastic-y red containers while the rest of the gang went to the zoo (Kidd under protest, having been dragged along by an enthused Patty). Under the table sat two bags— J.C. Penny and Barnes & Noble.

"Eye shadow?" Liz tried again, but Maka shook her head. "Brow pencil? Nail polish? Body glitter? Blush? _Lipstick_?"

"I used mascara once."

Liz stared at the girl with something akin to horror before muttering, "Girl, you are deprived. Didn't anyone ever show you—"

Liz's voice skidded to a halt mid-sentence as her brain caught up with her tongue. Maka glanced away, pretending to be interested in an ad for jeans. _Liz, you idiot, of course no one showed her how to apply make-up. Her mom's not here anymore._

Liz thought for a moment. Then she pounded a fist against her palm. "I got it!" Maka returned her gaze to the weapon just as Liz pointed a finger at her. "I'm going to teach you!"

"I didn't—wait— no, my fries!" Maka yelled as she was, quite literally, dragged to the nearest Sephora store. Liz smiled happily to herself, pleased with her good deed of the day.

…

When the gang met up for dinner back at the Gallows Mansion, Black Star ooh'd, Tsubaki aww'd, and Soul Eater had a nosebleed.

(And, again, Death the Kidd wondered aloud about his poor, abused credit card….)

* * *

_and a sharer of delights._

"RAWR!"

"Aah!" Liz hid her face under a pillow as Patty, wearing an orange cami and matching shorts, leaped on top of her. The younger Thompson promptly switched from growling to giggling as she poked at the pillow over Liz's face. "Come on, come on! I wanna plaaay."

"Maybe I'd play if I wasn't about to get eaten," Liz retorted as she pushed Patty off of her. She wore a similar cami and shorts, only purple. "Hey, Kidd, you done in the kitchen? We have the fort set up!"

"Fort?" Kidd asked, walking into the room in only his black boxers and a white T-shirt. He balanced a large bowl of popcorn and three drinks on a tray in his hands—all symmetrically arranged, of course. Then he saw what had happened to his living room, and he visibly cringed.

"Oh, don't ruin this for me, Kidd-O," Liz called, ducking under the makeshift fort which she and Patty had constructed using several blankets, armchairs, and the sofa. Patty grinned as Liz plopped another pillow beside hers. "Come. Sit. Watch the movie with us."

"You know, Liz, you should really think about synchronizing your color scheme," Kidd said, glaring back and forth between the orange and purple pajamas.

"You know, Kidd, you should really _not_ think about symmetry tonight," Liz returned without a hint of remorse. "Let's just have some fun in a good, old-fashioned blanket fort."

Kidd glanced at the tent uneasily before sliding underneath, laying it on his stomach between Liz and Patty, and propping his elbows up on the proffered pillow. Patty handed him the remote, only to snatch it back again a second later with another lion-like growl. Kidd did not move; he stared and then, when she did not explain herself, raised a questioning eyebrow.

Liz kidnapped the remote while Patty was busy laughing at Kidd's face, only to realize no one had put the movie in. "Great," she muttered unenthusiastically, but rather than get up, she reached for the popcorn instead.

"No movie?" Kidd asked, still confused.

"No movie, yarggh!"

"You're a pirate now?" Liz teased, reaching over Kidd to ruffle Patty's hair.

Kidd took a sip from his drink—flavored water that Liz had bought for her diet and forced her partners to drink as well (to avoid caffeine rushes and sugar crashes)—as the young shinigami stared at the black screen. "What are we doing now?"

"Plaaaying."

"You're always playing," Kidd grumbled.

"Hey, Kidd?" Liz asked, "You never built a fort like this before, have you?"

"No."

Liz smiled her Cheshire cat smile. Kidd glared at her suspiciously. "Then you've never had friends over for a t-i-c-k-l-e fight before, have you?"

Kidd shook his head, still not understanding. "A tickle fight? No, I haven't—"

"Tickle fight?!" Patty perked up, and too late Kidd realized he had made a mistake.

Let's just say the blanket fort didn't last long. Neither did Kidd, for that matter.

* * *

_And sorrows too._

Liz hated that she still sometimes had those nightmares. Every once in a while, she would wake up and muffle her cries, thank God that Patty was safe and she was safe and _he_ was there.

Those years on the streets had left her traumatized.

As much as Liz liked to believe that she could have survived on her own, deep down, she knew it had only been a matter of time before she lost Patty. She almost had—would have, if Kidd hadn't rescued them. The thought made her quake with fear and guilt.

Yes, Liz was _scarred_.

Beside her, Patty blinked her eyes drowsily and reached out to pat her sister's arm. Liz looked up expectantly, but Patty was already falling asleep again. "Izz okay, goddammit… go back a sweep…"

Liz smiled through her tears. That was her Patty.

"Yeah," she whispered as she settled back against her pillow and wrapped her arms around her younger sister, "it's okay. I'll make sure it's okay."

* * *

Marie patted Liz's back as the teenager watched her friends play basketball. "I think you make a great big sister. For all of them."

Liz stretched her arms as Patty made a dunk. "Yeah." She smiled. "I hope so."

* * *

**Author's Note: … please review. *makes Spirit-worthy puppy face* **

**Just as a note: if anyone tries to make anything pervy out of this chapter, it wasn't my intent, and please don't suggest otherwise. Same goes for the other chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the brand names mentioned in this chapter, including Fullmetal Alchemist, Cheetos, J.C. Penny, Barnes & Noble, and Sephora. As mentioned before, I also do not own Soul Eater or the quotes used in any of these chapters**


	10. Ad: Azusa

**Sorry for the delay! The Excalibur chapter is still in the editing process (**_**annoying**_** is hard to write), but here's an update to pass the time.**

**Yumi Azusa, Gunbow and Asia-in-charge, is amazing simply because she managed to talk Marie out of marrying a toilet, which, in my opinion, is not as funny as, but definitely more impressive than, planning to marry a toilet in the first place. I ignored my no-Japanese rule this time so I could use "senpai," a term I will use again next chapter, so if you don't know what it means, look it up! Anyway, I wanted to do something fun with this character, so here it is. Btw, the quote this time has less to do with Azusa and more to do with my mood. Sorry about that, too. ^^'**

**Disclaimer: As always, I do not own Soul Eater, Master Card, or any related rights/companies/etc. Written purely for entertainment, no payment involved.**

* * *

"_Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again." ~ Mike Myers_

* * *

"This one… or that one…?"

Azusa slumped in her seat outside the changing rooms of the clothing store. She definitely had more important things to do: force Spirit to finish the paperwork he had been avoiding for three weeks, battle the insanity wavelength produced by the reawakened kishin, anything not involving dresses designed for sixteen-year-olds…. "Marie, does it really matter whether it's blue or pink? It's the same dress."

"Yes, it does matter!" Marie poked her head above the changing room door and jabbed a finger in Azusa's direction. "Pink is a fresh, calm color, like a flower. Blue is a color of warmth and trust, more like the summer sky. It's completely different!!"

Azusa sighed as she returned her gaze to the fashion magazine she had been thumbing through. _She's been reading those personality quizzes again, hasn't she? _"Why don't you just stick to your usual black and yellow? Yellow is a cheerful color, right?"

"No!" Marie's one visible eye began to tear up. "Yellow indicates _anxiety_, and black's even worse! It represents_ power_. It'll drive men away!"

Azusa glanced down at her own all-black outfit before giving Marie her famous 'skeptical' look—but the demon hammer was too busy freaking out to notice. "I don't believe that, Marie. What happened to little black dresses? Men slobber all over those, right?"

Marie paused half-way through her tantrum to give Azusa a blank look, which Azusa took as a bad sign. It meant Marie was _thinking_. "An LBD, huh…"

"What is this for, anyway?" Azusa asked while examining an ad in the magazine.

"The dinner tonight, of course," Marie answered as she leaned against the top of the dressing room door, "for all the death scythes and three-star meisters."

_Oh. I know where this is going. _"I take it back; a simple black dress just won't work."

"What?! But—but—" Marie puffed her cheeks out in disappointment.

"Now, something like this," and Azusa held up the ad she had been looking at, "is just what you need."

* * *

Later that night, Azusa was seated at a four-person table in the Shibusen staff lounge sipping brand-name coffee that Marie had smuggled in earlier that evening. As it turned out, her coworkers were all spineless, ergophobic deadbeats, as Azusa petulantly pointed out when she heard that not only had the other death scythes not shown up, but Sid and his partner had also taken off that morning on a rather conveniently timed mission. Soul Eater had shown his face briefly, but he had looked so worn-out from practice that morning that Marie had promptly sent him home with the assurance that he wouldn't miss much.

That left one happy-go-lucky Marie, one bored Stein, one nervous Spirit, and one seriously irritated Azusa sitting around a table drinking contraband coffee.

"Shinigami's not even going to show up, is he?" Stein asked with a yawn.

"No," Spirit replied, "he said something about strategies and the magical tools right before he disappeared. _Poof._"

"Did you finish your paperwork, Senpai?" Azusa asked, staring straight at him and smiling slightly when her senior flinched. "Otherwise, I think you're the one about to go _poof_."

"You're so irritating," Stein complained. "It's creepy when you say _poof_."

There was an awkward silence as the three weapons fought back the urge to accuse Stein of calling the kettle black.

"Hey, Marie, why are you wearing a coat?" Spirit asked, changing the subject.

Azusa sighed. "Come on, Marie; show them your new dress. You were so excited earlier to—"

"Fine!" Marie interrupted her friend as her face flushed red. She stood up, unbuttoning the long, white trench she had been wearing to reveal the dress she had picked out (under Azusa's carefully planned compliments) that afternoon: a low-cut patchwork dress, sewn with pink plaid, blue swirls, and yellow hounds tooth fabrics. Azusa smiled when she saw Spirit's jaw fall open and Stein's eyes bulge behind his glasses.

Marie blushed a little as she held up the edge of the dress, which hung halfway down her thigh. "So… what do you think?"

"Papa's so proud!" Spirit shouted, and under the table, Azusa stomped on his foot, causing him to flinch and preventing the overenthusiastic goof from glomping the woman and messing up Azusa's, er, Marie's evening.

Stein stared at his partner for several minutes before standing and informing her, with an expression closer to adoration than Azusa had seen on his face since he bought that two-headed bovine cadaver.

"I… want to dissect you."

Marie gaped at the professor for a total of three seconds before she growled. "Jerk!" she screamed, turning on her three-inch heel and stomping from the room with that murderous look that did not bode well for any nearby breakables.

"W-wait! Marie, I didn't mean it like that!" Stein called, grabbing her coat and racing after her. He gave Spirit and Azusa a hurried wave as he shut the door behind him.

This left the remaining two death scythes staring at each other over the table. Spirit fidgeted.

"Well, I guess we can't get any work done now," he muttered. He moved to stand, but Azusa readjusted her glasses and pinned him down with her "glare of doom," or whatever Marie had called it.

"On the contrary." Azusa plunked a large stack of papers onto the table and held out a skull-decorated pen. "Let's start with Form AZ, number three…"

Azusa allowed herself a tiny smile at the sight of Spirit's horror-stricken face.

_Magazine: $1.99. Packet of decent coffee: $12.95. Patchwork dress: $62.50. Ruining Spirit-senpai's day? Priceless._


	11. Flash: Excalibur

**I hadn't been planning on an Excalibur chapter, but here it is. I don't guarantee the quality on this, especially since I had food poisoning this weekend and am more than a little loopy at the moment. The next one will be better (I hope).**

* * *

"_There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting." ~ Mark Twain_

* * *

"Sounds dumb, Senpai."

"Please!" Fourteen-year-old Spirit clasped his hands together and put on his puppy face, eliciting several "kyaahs!" from the female students around him but not at all affecting his bored meister. "Come on, Sid and Marie already said they'd come with us! All we're going to do is see if any of us can wake it up. You're not really going to miss this, are you?"

Marie giggled from her position beside Sid, who thumbed through the pages of a book titled "Excalibur" while trying not to look too interested— he didn't want to ruin his reputation, after all. "Hurry up, Stein, we're all going! You want to see the weapon, too, right?" Marie batted her eyelashes as if to emphasize a point. Two nearby male students blushed red before running into a bookshelf, but once again, the effort was lost on Stein, who looked as bored as ever as he turned the page of his anatomy book.

"No, I don't."

Just then, Yumi Azusa walked by and, noticing the group, stopped to ask suspiciously, "…and what are you all planning now? I'm not cleaning up the cafeteria again, you know." Stein wondered vaguely who did what to the cafeteria, but the other students ignored Yumi's accusation.

"Hey, Azusa." Sid flashed her a cocky grin. "You wanna come look at the Holy Sword, too?"

"The only 'holy' thing around here is going to be you if you call me Azusa again," Yumi warned.

"Aw, come on, Azusa," Marie begged with an angel's smile, "we're trying to convince Stein to go, too."

"Stein, go." Stein glared at Yumi while Marie did a victory dance behind her best friend's back.

"Hey, how come Marie gets to call you Azusa?" Sid complained.

"Marie's my friend, that's why. No will all of you shoo if you're going to be loud in the library?"

"Yeah," Spirit said with a playful wink at Yumi, "let's shoo, Stein." Stein felt his much taller weapon grab him around the waist and yank him toward the door. Stein grimaced; he had wanted to dissect something this afternoon….

* * *

One hour and one exhausting climb later, the four friends sat together in front of the entrance to the Cave Eternity. "H-how do we go any farther?" Marie asked between gasps. Sid patted the girl's back comfortingly, though the technician had hardly broken a sweat.

"I suppose we wade through the water," Spirit said, peering into the cave. "Hey, you think fairies actually live here?"

"No way," Marie said, tears forming in her eyes. "No way am I going in there! That water is all murky and gross. There could be poisonous leeches or something."

"Leeches aren't poisonous. They just suck your blood," Stein said matter-of-factly.

"That's still gross!"

"Oh, shut up, Marie." Spirit had already waded shin-deep into the water, but then he reached his hands behind him. "Climb on. I'll piggyback you; I'm always happy to help a beautiful lady!"

"I wouldn't call her a lady…"

Marie smacked Stein over the head as she passed him. "At least your partner has some manners! Thank you, Spirit."

"I'll lead," Sid volunteered, sauntering toward the cave while clutching "Excalibur" as if it were his own personal Holy Grail.

So the four continued into the tunnel. There were no signs of any fairies, much to Spirit's disappointment. (They had all fled the cave that morning out of sheer infuriation.) They soon arrived in the cavern of the Holy Sword, at which point their adventure truly began.

"Pretty!" Spirit and Marie squealed simultaneously.

"Awesome…" Sid breathed.

"Stupid," Stein muttered.

Then the four stared at the holy sword for a full minute before Spirit announced, "I'll try first!"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Stein asked as his partner waltzed toward the sword. "You can't wield it."

"Why not?" Spirit asked, wrapping his hands around the hilt.

"You're a weap—huh?" Stein stared as Spirit easily pulled the sword from the stone. "What?!"

"Wait, put it back, Spirit! I want to try!" Sid demanded.

"Me too, me too!" Marie joined in.

"Marie, you're a weapon, too," Stein pointed out. Nevertheless, the group of friends proceeded to stick the sword back into the stone and slip it out again three more times. Stein was the last to try; he was surprised at how easily he resonated with the strange weapon.

"Hey, Senpai, I think I ought to trade weapons. This is lighter than you in scythe form," Stein teased, and Spirit burst into tears at the mere suggestion.

Just then, the sword spoke: "Fools!"

Stein jumped back as the sword suddenly changed form. He landed in a crouch halfway between Excalibur and Sid and Marie, one arm outstretched for the scythe who immediately transformed in Stein's open hand. Stein waited for a moment as the flash of light surrounding the Holy Sword disappeared to reveal…

"Is that a penguin?" Marie asked. Beside her, Sid pointed and gaped dramatically.

"You're Excalibur?" Stein asked as he stood up.

"My legend began in the twelfth century."

Spirit, still in scythe mode, muttered to Stein, "You wanted to trade _me_ for _that_ weird thing?"

The white penguin-like creature jabbed his cane under Stein's chin. "You! Would you like to hear the chronicles of my heroism?"

"No."

"I want to hear it!" Sid interrupted, shoving Stein out of the way.

"Where are you from?" Excalibur asked, ignoring Sid completely and jabbing the cane at Stein again. The meister barely resisted the urge to dismember the annoying creature.

"We're from Shibusen," Marie answered. "Say, who's your meister now? We all pulled the sword from the stone."

"Fools! You're all my meisters now… as long as you adhere to my one thousand commandments!" Excalibur tossed a large packet to each of the companions. "Read thoroughly. My legend began in the twelfth century."

"Forget it." Stein immediately tossed the packet over his shoulder and into the water. Spirit, who regained human form, followed suit after skimming the first few lines.

"You're joking, right?" Marie asked as she glanced at Sid, who had begun reading studiously.

"But Marie," Sid replied, "it's the legendary sword! The one that can cleave the sky, raise the earth, and give his tech the power of the ultimate weapon!"

"Number 578: A hero shall always convey the truth."

"Eh?" Spirit poked a finger at Excalibur's top hat. "Is it broken?"

"Fool!" Excalibur smacked Spirit's head with his cane. "This hat is one-of-a-kind, crafted in England from the highest grade of Norimaki."

"It's made of sushi?" Spirit asked, and Excalibur hit him with the cane again. "Oww…"

"Number 679: I must always have a dehumidifier in my room." Excalibur pointed at Marie. "This will be your first task as my meister."

"Why me?" Marie asked, crossing her arms. "Ask one of the boys."

"Number 452: You must attend my daily, five-hour-long recitation, which will begin in five minutes."

"F-five hours?" Sid stuttered, the first sign of panic (and a normal human response to the strange little penguin, er, weapon).

"But I can't get a dehumidifier that fast," Marie complained.

"You were actually going to get one?" Stein asked.

Spirit, who had grown a huge lump on his head where the cane had struck, tugged on the sleeve of Stein's shirt. "Uh… I think it's doing something…"

In fact, Excalibur was doing something: staring. And staring. And staring. And staring. And staring. And staring. And staring. And staring. And staring…

"Argh, I can't take it anymore! Let me dissect him!" Spirit grabbed Stein's shoulder and held the short technician back.

Sid slunk toward the tunnel. "I think I hear Nygus calling me…"

"Wait!" Marie said, walking forward and kneeling in front of Excalibur so that she was eye-level with the penguin-like weapon. "We came to ask you how you became so powerful. So, please: do you have any advice for a student weapon like me?"

Spirit stared at his fellow weapon. "Marie…"

"Number one: My mornings start off with a cup of coffee."

Stein had never seen Marie stand up that fast. "You're completely useless, aren't you?!"

"Fool!" Excalibur pointed his cane at the girl. "Number 667: Always praise Excalibur."

Marie's hand began to glow yellow as she glared at the holy sword. "You little…"

Stein did not react fast enough. "Marie, wait a—"

_BOOOM._

It should be noted that while Marie did manage to punch the sword several feet down into solid stone, it was the weakness of the stone and not the legendary sword, which proved its formidability that day by remaining in one piece. It should also be noted that many years later, when Marie came to teach at Shibusen, Marie always brewed name-brand coffee in the morning—although whether this influence was Excalibur's or B.J.'s, no one could say.

* * *

When the foursome returned to Shibusen the next day, Nygus and Azusa met them in the hall.

"Idiot," Nygus said before she hugged her meister. "You weren't planning to trade me in, were you?"

"Of course not," Sid replied, and Spirit clapped a hand over Stein's mouth before the blunt technician ruined the moment by mentioning Sid's enthusiasm the day before. (It was a shame; Stein had wanted to see Nygus's reaction.)

"What did you guys do yesterday?" Azusa asked, pointing toward the classroom. "There's quite a commotion because of you—"

The four friends exchanged equally alarmed glances before tearing down the hallway and leaving Azusa talking to herself.

Inside the classroom, several people laughed as the group walked inside. They had only to glance at the front of the room to figure out why.

Three gigantic bouquets of roses, complete with autographed photographs of Excalibur and placards announcing, in an extensive essay, how much the weapon would miss the three boys. There was no acknowledgement of Marie, who joined in the giggling of the rest of the class.

Stein sighed as he patted Spirit's back, the red-haired weapon having started to sob loudly. "Oi, Senpai. I vote we skip for a week."


	12. Sudoku: Eruka

**Did you know that Eruka Frog has an appreciation club? Honest to Shinigami, she does. What I don't understand is the lack of an Eruka x Free appreciation club. Hence this short, (hopefully) cute moment. If you're an Eruka fan and don't think I focused on her enough, don't worry because she'll definitely appear in at least two other chapters.**

**Thank you to all my reviewers!! Next up: Jackie.**

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_"For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business." ~ T. S. Eliot_

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"Are you implying that witches don't need love, too?"

Free backed away, hands raised in surrender. Actually, he had been under that impression, what with primary example being Medusa. However, he sensed that telling that to Eruka, who was holding a tadpole bomb in either hand and wearing a rather manic, homicidal expression, would probably end with his guts splattered against the apartment.

He was immortal, yes, but he wasn't a masochist.

Eruka hefted the bombs higher, and Free backed into a wall. "Wait, wait, wait! I said wait, dammit!"

Eruka paused, though if anything, her scowl deepened. "Well? What did you want to say?"

"Uh… um… no."

"No what?!"

"No, I didn't think that." Free heaved a sigh of relief when Eruka lowered her weapons. Who knew a simple question like, "Why would a witch want a boyfriend?" would cause such a ruckus?

"I just wondered why _you_ wanted a boyfriend."

"What do you mean?" The scowl was still there, but her tone had taken a more curious and less dangerous turn.

"Err…" Free's mind refused to function. He was too old for this. "Aren't you busy—?"

Eruka tossed the tadpole bombs in the air, and they disappeared with a small poof. "Yes, I'm busy, but I'm _bored_." Eruka turned away, walking back toward the leather couch of the pair's shared two-bedroom apartment. She flopped onto the seat and picked up her Sudoku puzzle again. "I'm sick of math and frog ponds."

Free rubbed his neck. Women, especially witch women, were unpredictable. Until about a week ago, Free hadn't been aware than anything except math (surprisingly, Eruka loved that kind of stuff) and frogs meant anything to the cerulean-haired witch.

He leaned against the couch behind her, stealing a glance at her puzzle. Then he pointed to a square. "Three there, and seven in one below it."

Eruka wrote the numbers in without thinking. "Really, I just need something _new_."

New? Now _that_ meant something to the immortal werewolf. "I heard they just opened a Thai restaurant down the street."

Eruka looked up. "Trying to distract me?"

Free pointed at the puzzle again. "That nine goes here, not there." As Eruka fixed it, again not questioning Free's assessment, the werewolf leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I'm always up to try something new, you know."

Eruka didn't bat an eyelash. "Werewolves need love, too, huh?" she asked as she pulled away to look him in the eye.

Free grimaced. "There's no way I'd admit to something that girly. Now you want Thai or not?"

"Give me a straightforward answer."

Free grinned. "Hell no."

"Eh, close enough." Eruka tossed the only half-finished Sudoku puzzle onto the coffee table, and as she hopped toward the door, Free followed. She was different, as far as witches went, and Free meant what he said. He was always up to try something new.


	13. Peel: Jacqueline

**Jacqueline O. Lantern Dupré,** **who was supposed to be an easy character to write, turned out to present quite a challenge due to the fact that every story I came up with for her was unbearably clichéd. This chapter takes place after the Baba Yaga arc. I'm not sure I like this one, so I might switch it out later for something more… cheery. Depends on the reviews… hint hint.**

**A quick note: I told a few people that I would be writing the Mifune chapter soon. I'm sorry to announce that I will be pushing that back in favor of a Stein chapter. I apologize to all Mifune fans (I know you're out there booing me), but there is a reason behind it, I promise! That being said, next installment is either Patty or Stein, depending on what **_**kind**_** of insanity I'm feeling after my exam Friday. =)**

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**"_A bathroom shower sounds like rain in the background. It's kind of depressing." ~ Anonymous_

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_Jacqueline O. Lantern Dupré, with the possible _competition_ of Harvar D. Éclair and Soul Eater Evans, was the most loyal weapon enrolled in Shibusen. Whether it was from teenage dirtbags or bloodthirsty prekishins, Jacqueline protected her meister with her body, her morality, and even her _soul_.

And, given Jacqueline's line of work, she did not take that phrase lightly.

"Jackie! Jackie, where _are_ you?" Jacqueline turned to see her partner poking her head into the laundry closet. When her head emerged again, Jacqueline could see that her pink hair was still ruffled with bedhead, and her mossy green nightgown was more than slightly wrinkled.

"Over here, Kim!" Jacqueline called, and Kim slid down the hallway in her raccoon-decorated socks and skidded to a halt at the end of the kitchen counter. Jacqueline frowned. "Hey, I told you not to do that."

Kim shrugged as she leaned on the counter and watched her weapon peeling potatoes over the kitchen sink. Jacqueline, who had already been up for a few hours, had brushed her hair and changed into a large T-shirt and sweats; it amused the weapon that she might actually be better attired than her ever-adorable partner (who maintained that _dress_ affected _sales_, but that was another story). However, Jacqueline was not done scolding her friend. "You're going to fall, sliding down the hallway like that. Please be more careful!"

"You know I won't." Jacqueline pursed her lips, and Kim's hands shot up in surrender. "I meant I wouldn't fall! Geez!"

Jacqueline turned back to the potato she was peeling, and Kim asked, "Is that for lunch?"

"Mm-hm."

Kim rested her chin on her folded arms, one finger lazily tracing patterns on the counter top. "Hey, Jackie?"

"What's up?"

Kim didn't answer at first, and it caught Jacqueline's full attention. Jacqueline turned around, setting aside both knife and potato. Kim looked down.

"Ummm… I'm sorry for…"

Jacqueline raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Kim to be so complacent. "What? Did you stain my socks again?"

Kim glared at her. "No! I'm trying to be serious here."

"Sorry."

"But, uh…" Kim looked away. "I really am sorry for… what happened back there…."

Jacqueline shuddered involuntarily at the memory. As a weapon—no, not even that—as a _friend_, it had been a nightmare to see her meister, completely defenseless (everyone knew that the best way to disarm a witch was a simple gag), being hauled away toward some unknown danger. At the thought alone, Jacqueline could feel her left hand warm with residual anger; that night, she had burned with such rage that night that part of her had been amazed that the moral manipulation machine hadn't melted on contact.

"It was a judgment call, whether or not we trusted Arachnophobia…. It was my judgment call, as the meister, and I failed you." Kim's gaze remained focused on the floor. "I'm sorry."

Jacqueline couldn't help smiling a little. Kim never opened herself up like this; after years of running, hiding, fighting, it seemed almost against the witch's nature to let any weaknesses show—and Jackie, for the most part, had no problem with that, since it kept Kim safe from just about everything (excepting illogical prekishins and surprise confessions from Oxford).

"Why are you smiling?" Kim asked, suspicion leaking into her voice.

Jacqueline turned back to the kitchen sink to finish peeling the potato. "Because you're funny."

"Funny?" Kim abruptly stood upright, all timidity vanishing in the moment of irritation. "Why am I funny? I'm being serious, Jackie!"

"But Kim," Jackie said, turning and smiling benignly, "you're speaking nonsense. It was my job to protect you in that castle, wasn't it? Judgment call or not."

Kim frowned. "Don't joke about it. That was one of the scariest moments of my life."

Jacqueline shut out the memories, and all of the devastating emotions that accompanied them, before they overwhelmed her. She could not show weakness in this moment. If Jacqueline had learned anything from her meister, she had learned a poker face. She used one now, plastering on false cheeriness to hide her own insecurity. "I know, but it's over. We got through it. We're safe now, and all of our friends know the truth and accept us."

"Accept _us_…?"

Jacqueline rolled her eyes. "Yes. Us. You know we've been in this together from the very start."

Kim relaxed then, smiling. "Thank you. You always know how to cheer me up!"

Jackie smiled before absently waving her knife toward the stove. "If you want to take a shower, go ahead. I'm just going to finish this up."

"Okay." Kim disappeared back down the hall, and Jackie's face fell from a smile into a grimace.

After finishing lunch preparations, Jackie sat down on the sofa and cradled a cup of tea on her lap as she listened to the distant sound of the bathroom shower. It was easy to reassure Kim. It was not so easy to reassure herself.


End file.
